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last year

this time last year

your voice cemented in my ear

i've dreamt of you each night this week

oh your fingers and your skin

the feel, the taste of you again

you only come for me in my dreams


lazy baby 

your throat against my tongue

getting off from how our hearts would beat in time

stupid, maybe

the ache of being young

i forget the way it felt when you were mine


this time last year

your pretty words assuaged my fear

we huddled close against the phone

oh your smile, and your laugh

the thought that i'd get you like that

kept me from desperately alone

gentle baby

your fingers on my lips

marveling how soft my mouth got when I cried

treasured safety

your hands guiding my hips

i forget the way you'd moan that you were mine


you were mine 

oh i've had enough this year

you're gone and so are all my tears

you gotta stay out of my dreams

oh your warmth and your smell

subconscious missing you like hell

god i don't wanna fall asleep


stubborn baby

you arms around my waist 

moving slow with your hot breath along my spine

fucking crazy

all the time i waste

to forget the way i felt when you were mine



pieces of me floating through the bath, i wonder if they recognize me

making tiny waves with both my hands i try and usher them inside me

i know i keep telling you to leave, would you consider going back on words to be some sort of crime?

god i know i’m flawed but i feel so much safer knowing that i’m yours and you’re longing to be mine


i wish i could wash down the drain

mix in with the gutters and the rain


if i were a flower i’d unfurl so slow you’d never see my petals

if i were a fighter i’d be quite hard-pressed to prove that i had metal

i am not a flower but i’m dying to bloom and spread my whirling twirling seed throughout the yard

i am not a fighter but i’m telling you that if you asked me kindly i would push and i’d push hard


if i went to sleep beneath the ground

could you promise me that i’d be found?

baths and gardens overflow, my trembling hands are unable to capture

quiet nights and pillow fights, i’ll braid your hair if you braid my hair after

won’t you tell me that i can be anything, this fickle feeble frame is sprouting lies out of both ends

if i could do anything i’d sing for you, and breathe for you, and never put my lovers before friends


i am sick and tired of running wild 

hold me like i know i’ll hold my child

in my car


i bought this car with all my savings

i outfit it like a home

I carry my books with me

lightning thief and charlie bone


and in my glove compartment

registration by its side

a bottle of my favorite lotion

mint, lavender and thyme


in my car my body is mine


i bought this car with all my savings

i keep some firewood in my trunk

a box of matches and newspapers

in case I break down in the dark

an extra gallon of water

a couple blankets, folded square

the seventh book of harry potter

i would say i come prepared 


in my car my body is mine

but as it turns out, not all of the time


i bought this car with all my savings

i love it like i love myself

it gave me a sense of safety

to think that I could lock things out


in my car my body was mine

but as it turned out, not all of the time.

l.a. lover

i love the version of you living in my head

her smile’s just like yours, leaves me blinded

she holds me closely tracing sweetness on my lips

skin is warm where we kiss, soft and silent

she lets me be 

all that i need

she lets me in and she lets me go


me and her go wild and drive all down the coast

we are salty, caked in sand and we don’t mind it

we build campfires and we make love in the car

i’m a big truck kind of woman, i’ve decided


she lets me be

all that i need

she lets me in and she lets me go

she lets me go

when we reach l.a. we plant seeds in the yard

we both dream that we'll grow herbs, green and vibrant

when we dance she puts her hands upon my hips

this is love, isn't it, did i find it?

she lets me be

all that i need

she lets me in and she lets me go

she lets me go

i love the version of you living in my head

i am hoping that i live in yours like that



i like to call in the mornings, sleep passing slow

i like to hear your breathing, heavy and low

in my mind is a field made up of dreams

softest grass and arbors of apple trees

here i was made for you


far above the sea i found darkness inside of me

fearful and free, as untethered as i could be

in this space, i was floating higher than air

all out of place but i found that i couldn’t care


here i was made for you 

where is my field of dreams i almost need to give up

i am empty endlessly but maybe i am enough

i’m enough

i find my peace with dirt and clay in my nails

shameless ease in mornings, eager and pale

in my dreams i know darkness, softness and light

would you believe i'm no longer scared of the night?

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